영어문장2012.06.03 09:39

여자/ 남자가 친구가 될수있을까? (by coach Rich)

People in relationships have to make their own rules. However, one element that I believe is crucial to any relationship is trust. Without trust, there are problems and the likelihood of two people being happy in a relationship without it is very low. I believe the most important aspect of building and maintaing trust is behavior that never calls into question trust. For example, yes I have female friends. However, I don't go out drinking with them without my wife. When I am out drinking late at night without her, I tend to be at a friends house with the guys or at one of the local bars with a group of friends she knows. She's never put these stipulations on me. They are self imposed. And by doing so, I don't put myself into a position where she has any reason to be suspicious. I also make sure she knows where I'm going to be and who I'm going to be with when we're apart. With any reasonable person, when you give them no reason to question their faith in you, they don't question you. 

We're all flawed humans. Even the most trustworthy person in the world will have their trustworthiness questioned if they are in questionable situations. Like if what happened to Bones happened to me, I know my wife would at a bare minimum be somewhat suspicious. She would think to herself "What is my husband doing drunk alone with two women?" And to ponder that is only reasonable. Whether she brings it up or not is irrelevant. She would be thinking it. That's because my wife is no idiot. She knows how we men are wired. We are wired to want to fuck anything and everything we find attractive. And the more we drink, the more we revert to our base desires. Anyone who doesn't realize this is an idiot or lying to themselves. 

This is also the key to not cheating on your wife. It amazes me how many men cheat on their wives. A statistic I read not long ago said that 65% of men cheat on their wives within the first two years of marriage. Some of my closest friends have told me about their indiscretions. Several of them completely floored me as I never thought they were the cheating type. However, I started being honest with myself and came to the conclusion that if you have a dick, you ARE the cheating type. It's completely Darwinian. If we weren't wired to want to fuck everything we are attracted to, it's hard to imagine the human species would have survived very long. Just because we say "I do" doesn't cancel out millions of years of evolution and natural selection.

There is also a social aspect to this. Ever since we've got our first hard on, our lives have been about seeking out, stalking, conniving, manipulating, lying, and laying plans all designed around getting pussy. It's not only a hard wired desire, but a learned pattern. We've spent so much of our time trying to get laid that it's really hard to pass up if it's just thrown at us. Especially if drinking is part of the equation and we are pretty damned sure we can get away with it. Another factor is that women seem to be more attracted to married men. Part of it is that our wives train us to behave a little better and pick out clothing and hair styles they find more attractive. But I believe the biggest factor is that women no longer see us as just another guy trying to fuck them. They see us as stable and responsible. In their world, they are always wondering why men are so afraid of commitment. Then they see a guy who has made a commitment and even keeps the lawn mowed and the cars maintained. Once again, Darwinism is a factor. Women are hard wired to want a provider and protector. In todays world, a man who maintains their wife's car and home, who has a job and has made a commitment is that protector and provider. Once again, smart women are aware of this.

The key to not cheating on your wife is to quit seeking out pussy. That's half the battle. The other key is to not put yourself in positions where you can fuck-up. This is also the key to building and maintaining trust. Smart women know this even if they don't talk about it with us. What to stay faithful to your wife? Want her to trust you? The two are one in the same. Avoid being in bad positions where not only trust comes into question, but where you don't have the opportunity to succumb to your more base instincts.

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  1. 토종 한국인인 제가 보기에는 완전 예술적인 문장입니다.^^ㅋ

    2012.06.13 11:55 신고 [ ADDR : EDIT/ DEL : REPLY ]
    • 며칠 쉬었다가 돌아왔습니다. 어제는 제딸 고등학교 졸업에 다녀와서 비디오를 편집하여 링크해 두었습니다.

      그리고, 이글은 제가 자주 드나들던 (요즘은 좀 뜸합니다.) mmashare 라고 하는 격투기 포럼 싸이트에 있는 나이가 32세쯤 된 대학을 졸업한 친구가 쓴 글인데, 이친구가 이친구들 사이에서는 나름대로 글을 조리있게 잘 쓰는 것으로 평가받는 상태입니다. 죽 읽다보면 그다지 어려운 단어는 없지만 자기 생각을 조리있게 잘 표현한다는 것을 알수 있지요. 이 친구는 이런 글을 앉은 자리에서 이런식으로 수십개라도 술술 쓰더군요.

      저도 이친구 작문하는게 부러워서 이친구 글을 들여다보곤 하는데, 앞으로 시간날때마다 좀 모아볼까 합니다.

      2012.06.15 02:40 신고 [ ADDR : EDIT/ DEL ]
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